Her Majesty Sofia of Napa

Sofia Coppola has finished her third feature film and it is sure to be a doozy. What can I say, I am green with envy yet again. I will turn into a bitter shrew if I am not careful!

Years ago, when I got over my stingy-self to buy a new copy of Antonia Fraser's Marie Antoinette: The Journey, it was because historical epics really do it for me. I got so into the book that I started imagining all the fun ways it could be made into a motion picture - silly daydreaming deadbeat.

Little did I know that dear sweet, modern-day-royalty Sofia Coppola was thinking the exact same thing!?


I was interested in the story of Marie Antoinette because it was so long past, a detailed, well-documented life that I could barely understand the complexities of, so removed was it from my own experiences.

It was like peeking through a peephole back 4 centuries - the view was partially blocked and the text was dense but there was enough to get there to get a kick out of. All the juicy bits to make a brilliant movie, right!?

Well of course Sofia Coppola beat me to it. I mean, she IS Sofia Coppola after all. Plus, she is one step away from royalty with her King Daddy Francis Ford and her bevy of well-connected relatives. No doubt she can, like, totally relate to Marie Antoinette and her teenage destination for greatness.

Not that she would ever admit that in an interview as she is far too busy staring off into space and impersonating a deer stuck in headlights (see ET deer footage here). My, that was mean of me! Sofia brings out the bitter beast in me.

Fresh off her Oscar win for best screenplay, Sofia got her biggest budget yet to make a big fancy costume drama about the teenage Marie Antoinette.

Once again, her ol'pal Kirsten Dunst plays the hot to trot Marie (Kirsten is about 40 lbs lighter than the real thing but who is counting? Can't have a fat cow staring in this fashionable movie can we?) and her cousin Jason Schwartzman playing Louis XIV (he is allowed to be fat).

It is sure to be a beautiful and fresh faced take on the 1700s with hot 80s pop tracks (Again, Sofia has the BEST taste in music, as in all things) and an amazing costume gallery (Don't forget Sofia's fashion label Milk Fed where I can buy a t-shirt for $50 - if only I was small enough to fit inside it!). You can see its fabulously fun and hip trailer here along with a great song by New Order. Well done Sofia!

Honestly, I look forward to seeing her new film. I will probably enjoy every decadent, colorful, pop filled moment! So what is it about Sofia that makes me so green with envy?

Well, watch below for some meager explanation. I made this video shortly after Sofia won her Oscar and it is aptly entitled, "Why I Hate Sofia." As you can see by some of the not so friendly comments, the You Tube teenage community is chock-full-o-Sofia-fans. But what do I know? I am just a bitter fool with a cable access show!