Ugly and Have No Friends

My British pal "Marti Webb" (whose name is disguised to protect his true and most fabulous identity) gave me a heads up about an old British comedy show called Gimme Gimme Gimme.

As the hours tick by until Peep Show Season 4 is released (faster, faster, I miss Mark and Jez OH so much!), now I have another outlet for rank British humour. Says Miss Marti Webb about the show:

Since you are into British comedy, WATCH/DOWNLOAD/WHATEVER gimme gimme gimme, it is a disgusting will & grace like comedy set in london. a grotesque, obese red-head slut who can't read or write but thinks she is gorgeous who shares a flat with a struggling, over-the-top-gay, desperate-singleton wannabe-actor (ring any bells? ;-)). it is prepostorous, hilarious, irreverant, and i LOVE it. you-tube it.. here's a clip to get ya started

Two seconds later I was watching every YT clip I could get my hands on. Oh YouTube, how I love thee. And Brits simply do NOT know how good they have it! A character like Linda La Hughes would never ever ever in a million years make it on to an American sitcom. And if she did, they would straighten her hair, give her a new face and make her dialogue so bland that you wouldn't even recognize her.

Squeezed into a clingfilm-tight micro-skirt and sporting a couple of acres of heaving cleavage, Lynda La Hughes is the sort of woman who gives sluts a bad name. She is a noisy, selfish, man-hungry Gorgon convinced that she is God's gift to mankind, someone who attributes her lack of sexual partners to her belief that most of the men she meets are 'raving queens'. In her eyes, this reasoning is strengthened by the fact that her flatmate is one such 'bum-bandit'.

He is Tom Farrell, a gay actor, always 'resting', whose selfishness and ego almost rivals that of Lynda. Tom believes he is God's gift to acting and attributes his lack of success to the blinkered stupidity of casting directors. The pair are thus ideally suited - they can bemoan their lot and snipe at each other in screeching arguments, where each venom-filled insult is aimed unfairly and squarely below the belt, yet where few of them hurt. BBC

Why is it that truly edgy comedy has to come from across the pond? Are we incapable of saucy, naughty, refreshing bits? Does our uptight Puritan upbringing keep us forever trying to say the "right" thing, do the "right" thing and look the "right" way? And if we slip up and expose something honest, ugly and rank, what will people think of us? Horrors?

Like me, Linda dresses poorly, has unruly hair, is a bit of a deluded slag and should probably have her mouth sewn shut. As she says, "I've got the morals of a knocker." I do not really know what that means but knowing Linda, it can't be good.

I've seen Kathy Burke on various British shows such as Ab Fab and perhaps even in the film Sid and Nancy. She is one of those comedians who would just not make it in America. Yes, we have our occasional Rosannes but they are rare. Here are some of Linda's gems (speaking of which, she reminds me of Leslie Hall of Gem Sweater fame):

Tom: Oh, what do you know about love?
Linda La Hughes: I know it's in the dictionary between labia and lust.

Miss Twitch: I love your dress sense, Linda.
Linda La Hughes: Think like a slut. Dress like a slut.

Linda La Hughes: I've had my best sex in the dark. Well blokes prefer it that way, don't they?

Linda La Hughes: I wouldn't mind him putting his hand up my skirt and moving my lips, if you know what I mean!

Linda yells at the telly, “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? What a rip off! Phone a friend? What if you haven’t got any friends?”

On herself: “I’m naturally funny. D’you know, sometimes I walk down the street and people just burst out laughing”.

“Oh my God who’s that gorgeous creature? Oh my God it’s me!”