Saturday, December 09, 2006

Introducing Fuchsia

Illustration of Fuchsia by Mervyn Peake

It is not every day that a star of fiction and film, a daughter of an Earl no less, posts on this meager blog. Her head is in the clouds, she likes to yell it out loud, you may even find a Cure song dedicated to her memory, ooh, but watch out for that windowsill my lady!

So it is with great pleasure that we introduce to you, no need to stand ladies and gents, Miss Fuchsia Groan:

As his lord stared at the door another figure appeared, a girl of about fifteen with long, rather wild black hair. She was gauche in movement and in a sense, ugly of face, but with how small a twist might she not suddenly have become beautiful. Her sullen mouth was full and rich – her eyes smouldered.

A yellow scarf hung loosely around her neck. Her shapeless dress was a flaming red.

For all the straigtness of her back she walked with a slouch. 'Come here', said Lord Groan as she was about to pass him and the doctor.

'Yes father', she said huskily.

'Where have you been for the last fortnight, Fuchsia?'

'Oh, here and there, father' she said, staring at her shoes. She tossed her long hair and it flapped down her back like a pirate's flag. She stood in about as awkward a manner as could be concieved. Utterly un-feminine – no man could have invented it.

"Here and there?" echoed her father in a weary voice. "What does 'here and there' mean? You've been hiding. Where, girl?"

"'N the libr'y and 'n the armoury, 'n walking about a lot", said Lady Fuchsia, and her sullen eyes narrowed. "I just heard silly rumours about mother. They said I've got a brother -- idiots! idiots! I hate them. I havn't, have I? Have I?"

"A little brother", broke in Doctor Prunesquallor. "Yes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, a minute, infinitesimal, microscopic addition to the famous line is now behind this bedroom door. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, he! Oh yes! Ha ha! Oh yes indeed! Very much so."

"No!" said Fuchsia so loudly that the doctor coughed crisply and his lordship took a step forward with his eyes drawn together and a sad curl at the corner of his mouth.

"It's not true!" shouted Fuchsia, turning from them and twirling a great lock of black hair round and round her wrist. "I don't believe it! Let me go! Let me go!"

As no one was touching her, her cry was unnecessary and she turned and ran with strange bounds along the corridor that led from the landing. Before she was lost to view, Steerpike could hear her voice shouting from the distance, "Oh how I hate people!". - Excerpt from Mervyn Peake's Titus Groan

Fuchsia Groan is the fictional daughter of Sepulchrave, the 76th Earl of Groan, a character in Mervyn Peake's Titus Groan and Gormenghast. Fuchsia is also the subject of The Cure song, The Drowning Man, which is about her death and mentions her by name.

Early Life and Family

Fuchsia is the firstborn child of Lord Sepulchrave and Gertrude. The right of succession in Gormenghast applies only to fathers and their sons, and for her entire life Fuchsia has been largely ignored by both parents due to her gender. Her caretaker is the elderly Nanny Slagg, with whom she spends the majority of her time. While Fuchsia cares deeply about her nanny, she also delights in tormenting the old woman with her childish antics and pranks. Fuchsia's brother, Titus, the future 77th Earl of Groan, is born when Fuchsia herself is about fifteen.

Before Titus' birth, Fuchsia is angry that her parents are having another baby, and she is determined to hate her brother. After the baby's naming ceremony, Fuchsia expresses delight that Titus was dropped on his head. Over time, however, the two grow very close, and when a 12-year-old Titus is imprisoned by his mother and schoolmaster for repeated questioning and disobedience, Fuchsia is the only one to visit or talk to him.

Appearance and Personality

On a personal level, Fuchsia is a dreamer and a romantic who escapes the dull pace of life in Gormenghast by reading fantasy tales. She is also a spoiled brat who disappears for long periods into her secret attic rooms to fantasize and to sulk, scrawls on walls with charcoal, and makes wild claims that upset the aged Nannie Slagg, such as, "When I am Queen, I am going to burn down the castle!" This is, of course, completely untrue, as Fuchsia will never become Queen.

Fuchsia's fantasies of romance and adventure seem to keep her
forever young; throughout Peake's series, until the time of her death, she responds with childlike innocence to everything. Beneath her callous and bratty exterior, she is actually quite sweet and loving. She loves her father, though she barely knows him, and during Sepulchrave's slow descent into madness she often expresses that she "cannot bear" to see him this way. She also has an enduring friendship with Dr. Alfred Prunesquallor.

What Fuchsia seems to want most out of life is for someone to love her in return.
Neve McIntosh said of the character, "She locks herself in her attic where she lives in her imagination. All she wants is a knight in shining armor to come up to the castle tower and carry her off.[1]" Fuchsia's favorite drink is elderberry wine [2]. - Wikipedia


Q_Monroe said...

welcome fuchsia!

Anonymous said...

hello Eva, my name is Marti Webb, aka the English Girl, from the singles musical TELL ME ON A SUNDAY. no doubt you know and my plights in dating - film-producing jews, younger guys, married man, i've done it all!
but...! i have a dating problem. if i explain it to you will you be so kind as to VLOG an answer? or maybe your wise mum could??
in the musical, i am often seen writing letters home to england, to my mum, who is assumed to be old and wise and someone to be confided in about men. but in reality, she is an alcoholic who lives in a caravan and has the bowels of a 90 year old man.
(p:s: the dating problem really exists!! i was weeping like a widow over it this very evening :((((((()

Eva the Deadbeat said...

Marti Webb? is this really you or is this spam? I am not blog-savvy enough to know the difference??!! Please clarify...

Anonymous said...

yes, yes it is me who comes to you for guidance!

Eva the Deadbeat said...

well, i am shocked but pleased of course. having been through the dating meat grinder myself, i am not sure if that makes me a good or a bad advice giver but would be happy to vlog some sort of an answer (or have me mum do it!). gimme your sad tale of woe!

Anonymous said...

where to start?! well, a few months ago i received a nice e-mail from (let's give a pseudonym) Sheldon Bloom. Now, Sheldon Bloom was very good looking, a bit older than me, and despite a checkered past of having appeared in a gay porn video and done lots of bizarre things like get beaten up by gypsies and being a pole dancer in a gay club in Spain, he was very successful. He owned the biggest PR company in my city (the second city in England) and a handfull of classy, chic magazines. he was also charming, witty, a bit gorgeous and we lots in common - similar musical tastes, sense of humour, etc. So, we started dating and it went very well. He kissed me in the elevator and gave me a "good seeing to" in his apartment. But then for weeks, I heard nothing. Until he came back apologising, saying that because I am so hot (I am!) he was threatened by me and wanted to have some surgery to remove some bags under his eyes. Fine! A bit of a weird excuse, but everyone has issues sometimes, and I happily accepted his apologies and welcomed him back into my life, with a stern warning not to play with my feelings again.

Then, after a few more meetings, a few more episodes involving rampant fucking, we decided on Friday to do dinner yesterday. Great! So Marti Webb proceeded to go to the mall, by a snazzy new outfit, have her hair done ("A shampoo and a miracle, please!") and whatnot, and agreed with him, by text message to meet me at 19:15 in a local bar, and we would then proceed onto the restaurant, and imaginably, onto his place later for more aforementioned rampant fucking. Sheldon Bloom is WILD, let me tell you!

So, Marti Webb casually entered the bar last night, looking her very best, and ordered a tequila sunrise. She waited. And waited. She text messaged. She called. No answer. She fled to another bar and wept like a widow in the toilets. She left a message on his answerphone THUSLY: "Hi Sheldon, it's Marti. Wow, nobody has ever treated me this way before. And I hate it. Not that you would care, being totally insensitive to the feelings of others. However, I have more self-respect than to ever meet you again. But don't think I'm sad - no! I'm going to spend the evening with my border collies, who will undoubtedly be better company than you would have been. Just don't ever try to contact me again, ok? Goodbye."

With that, Marti proceeded to visit the aforementioned border collie, and had a pleasant evening with her.

almost 24 hrs have rolled by, and Marti hasn't heard a thing. Marti did see him as "Online" on the gay dating website they both frequent, but not a peep. Not a word of apology. Nothing.

Usually, Marti would forget all about this.

But Marti can't. Despite never having him as a girlfriend,

MARTI IS IN LOVE with the sap. Hence her pain and distress, and desire to seek out guidance from her one true internet oracle. she just can't face the prospect of moving on. why would he behave like this?? after being so enthusiastic only the day before?? we were so great together!! oh, how can i get him back? should i confess my love, or will that just make me look PATHETIC!?!?! oh no! but the prospect of a future as a solitary, embittered bitch without Sheldon Bloom is not one which Marti Webb relishes.

You can see a photo of Sheldon BLoom here (feel free to montage it into the vlog!)

you must admit is a bit gorgeous !

If you could also add some general dating advice into the vlog too, girls around here would appreciate it so we too can bag ourselves a Tanner!

(please that that Marti Webb is also a gay man, despite being the English Girl too... sooo, sexuality was not the issue here! ;-))

if you want a good photo of marti webb, here i am in action as a single girl in NYC!

Anonymous said...

NOTE i give you permission to read this blog post or summarise my plight to your viewers :)

Anonymous said...

when will you do it?? la webb's putrid soap opera of a life needs a firm fatwa, a firm judgment from the almighty queen of deadbeats. in vlog form!

Eva the Deadbeat said...

"marti" - who are you? i get the feeling i know you...i need more information to proceed...?

Anonymous said...

what info do you need????

Eva the Deadbeat said...

hmmm...are you a girl in a boat?

Anonymous said...

well, we know each other that is all i will say! Would rather not broadcast my relationship woes publically.. name 'em and shame 'em and all. hence the need for the aforementioned fatwa.#

(and i told you! I'm marti webb, the english girl and a gay man!)

Eva the Deadbeat said...

well, i am stumped and amused but that is a good combo. will try to do a vlog tonight but am a pretty crap authority on dating. still, misery loves company so i will give it a go! chin up marti! give your border collie a mighty squeeze! ;)

Eva the Deadbeat said...

well "marti," whoever you may be, i posted a response to your fine dilemma - best of luck to you!