Monday, November 20, 2006

Emmalina is Back!

Praise the lord, YouTube is complete again. Its Australian Aphrodite has returned! Not too long ago, in a galaxy not too far away, a cherubic fresh-faced 18 yr old girl named Emmalina ruled the (pimply and horny) YouTube masses. Emmalina used to cream sad ol' Lonelygirl15 back in the day and easily topped the most subscribed lists (read complicated scientific analysis here).

Emmalina's vlogs consisted of random babble in an adorable accent, stripper dancing that somehow didn't feel dirty, half-assed yoga and fun with fashion. All of her video blogs took place in her small, sometimes messy bedroom with pink bedding which has become familiar to thousands of viewers all over the world. She was sweet and approachable, the classic girl next door and an articulate alternative to FilthyWhore.

One of her thousands of comments read, "I feel like I know you better than I know my own girlfriend!" Emmalina was a girlfriend to the YouTube masses - the lonely, misunderstood, geeky and socially retarded. Emmalina was a godsend. So why, oh why, did she leave us?

The world stood still the day Emmalina removed her videos, left YouTube and said that she was never, never, NEVER coming back. NOOOOO!!! Teenagers and old men clutched their crotches in terror. Who would be their girlfriend now?! Who? Who? LisaNova? No, she is too sassy. LittleLoca? No, too scary. Paris Hilton? No, she is over-booked.

Emmalina's sudden departure from YouTube had something to do with computer hacking, stalkers, over-exposure and a jealous boyfriend. Her original popularity came from her sassy-n-sexy dancing routines and yoga exercises, but this time around she is going to keep it clean. But I have a feeling that some Flashdance Maniac routines will slip out sooner or later. I mean, come on, you cannot keep a girl like Emmalina from shaking what her maker gave her. Right?

More about our Aussie Aphrodite: she is 18 and a vegan (she still swallows but she has a BF so back off gents!); she loves animals and will introduce you to her hamsters; she is into fashionable clothes and jewelry; she is just your average teenage YouTube celeb phenom. Dime a dozen, NOT.

I am actually glad to see Emmalina back. Also glad to know a stalker hasn't had her locked up in his basement all this time and that she isn't afraid to return to her former stomping grounds (despite said stalkers and their basements). I wonder if the landscape has changed much since she was here last? Welcome home Emmalina! Don't ever leave us again! SOB!

1 comment:

Mr Tocoi said...

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