Thursday, November 30, 2006

Boobs R Us

Well gents, it looks like you finally have some scientific justification for all your lecherous breast goggling (see article below - thanks Lani!). Apparently staring at a ladies chest is actually good for you, it might get you a swift upper cut to the jaw as well, but that is just the risk you take.

Zoologists point out that no female mammal other than the human has breasts of comparable size when not lactating and that humans are the only primate that have permanently swollen breasts. This suggests that the external form of the breasts is connected to factors other than lactation alone...

Some zoologists (notably Desmond Morris) believe that the shape of female breasts evolved as a frontal counterpart to that of the buttocks, the reason being that whilst other primates mate in the typical doggy-style position, humans are more likely to successfully copulate mating face on. A secondary sexual characteristic on a woman's chest would have encouraged this in more primitive incarnations of the human race, and a face on encounter would have helped found a relationship between partners beyond merely a sexual one...

Historically, breasts were regarded as fertility symbols, because they are the source of life-giving milk. Certain prehistoric female statuettes - so-called Venus figurines - often emphasised the breasts, as in the example of the Venus of Willendorf. In historic times, goddesses such as Ishtar were shown with many breasts, alluding to their role as goddesses of childbirth. - Wikipedia

Below, Carmen Electra pleads the case for Tits for Tots. Sure girls, you could learn how to have a meaningful conversation with a man, but why bother when boobies are the only currency that matters in America?! Sigh, I would cry if I weren't busy giggling so damn hard:


the le duo said...

hey eva! i posted a link to this booby thingy on my blog, titled 'breast therapy...dig it'


see ya,

Suzanne said...

hooters should post that in their bathrooms. however, whatever health benefits the gross trucker guys get from staring at flourescent orange boobs gets them, is negated with the fat, cholesterol, and calories they ingest as they eat hooters wings. ha! eat your heart out fat pigs!

i'm not bitter, am I?

Eva the Deadbeat said...

dear jb,

i-am-good! r-u-good-2?

enjoy your booby watching - it'll help you live long and prosper!

Eva the Deadbeat said...

naw, bitterness feeds the soul! yum, yum, munch, munch!

"flourescent orange boobs" - ooh, i lost my appetite! ;)

i wish there was a classy sort of hooters for girls with healthy food and charming, handsome, well-dressed gents of the night (not so orange and sunny). i think Japan has some clubs like this. we girls need our servings of food and tail as much as the truckers do!

la-la-lani said...

I wonder if looking at men's asses has any health/youth benefits for women. I think a Serious Scientific Study has to be done here in Burlington. Shall we collect data on Church Street during lunch next week?

Eva the Deadbeat said...

Dr Dr Lani

Yes, I DO think a scientific study is in order. We can recapture the glow of youth through the simple act of staring, ogling and heckling the passing men folk (those with the fine rear ends that is)!

Your research partner, Dr Eva