Poop Didn't Fall on Me!!
Some days it feels like everything 
is going right for you. Other days, you are simply happy for the little things such as the fact that pigeon poop did not fall on your head.
There we were enjoying our post-work mojitos, when out of the sky fell a whitish, greenish, brownish glob of poop. It shot like a bullet through the iron slots of the table and smacked down inches from my
foot.
It's deadly trajectory was inches from my head, my drink and my red Cons. This explosion of flying poop caused Suzanne and I to burst into giggles.
There is something pretty funny about poop falling out of the sky, especially when it does not hit YOU.
I kept looking down at the bird poop on the table, smiling happily to myself and thinking, "Look at that poop there, it isn't on my head! Lucky me!"
And in the case of Cyndi Lauper, she was not so lucky (link). Oooph. Poop in the mouth while you are singing in front of other people - it does not get much worse than that. And cool as nails Cyndi even had the balls to wipe her mouth casually and keep on singing. What a pro!
And so I thought to myself, for all your complaining and worrying and kvetching, poop did NOT fall on you today so you must be doing ok. It isn't everyday that you get messages from the heavens but when they do come (or, to be more exact, do not come down on YOUR head), you better pay attention, idiot.
So it is time to be thankful for the little things. Thankful that your Final Cut Pro started up (yes, it took 4 tries but it opened up eventually...eeek!) and you are able to edit your cable access show to your heart's delight.
Thankful that Tanner has a new girlfriend Mac Book and can clack away happily while you snip and montage like an obsessive super freaky nerd couple.
Thankful that you get to watch your favorite British TV show, Peep Show before going to bed and thankful that you had a delicious pasta dinner with random food found in the cupboards and fridge (well stocked cupboards are important!).
And most important of all, thankful because POOP DID NOT FALL ON YOUR HEAD! Oh, and speaking of poop, this is what I learned today, You Tube star Emmalina is into Efro, is NOT a feminist (duh), likes to dance like a stripper and prefers amateur porn to the fancy stuff.
Good to know - FYI this is the MOST viewed video on You Tube at the moment, shudder (see video) and has been seen by OVER 
400,000 people so far.
13 comments:
what i want to know is, who's that drunk hippy in your bed!
oh, he was just some wanderer i met on the way home who needed a place to crash. you had better watch out, he is playing video games on your new lady friend!
I was shat upon last summer (ironically whilst reading adbusters at waterfront park)-everyone said it was good luck- well in the days weeks months after that i had no luck whatsoever- either good or bad- so I guess its neutral.
jb
you are very zen about this poop incident. while i am somehow able to change poopy diapers, i am not so comfortable with poop falling from the sky on me. i guess it is sort of lucky though, off all the surfaces the poop could have landed upon, you were the chosen one!
isn't it funny that everyone has a being pooped on, or not pooped on story. remind me to tell you that time i got peed on -- by a person!
EGADS! that does not sound good! although i think there is a whole group of people that like that sort of thing. was there a jellyfish involved in this scenerio?
of the jellyfish variety -- a drunken pre-frosh, me in a sleeping bag on the floor, and an unlocked door! probably drunk for the first time, he thought he was at home and took the turn to the bathroom that wasn't the bathroom at all, but my head! i yelled at him and he started to cry. very strange indeed. i found out later that i was known as "the girl who got peed on." unfortunate.
lets not get into the 'where have you drunkenly pee'd' stories....
oooh let's! i have no incredibly impressive drunken pee/poo stories to contribute. actually, there was this one time when i was a little kid (therefore i was not drunk) when i thought it might be cool to do #2 in the bathtub. needless to say, i never tried that again but i remember it being strangely liberating.
oh no! this conversation will let out all my secrets. one time i pooped in the tub when my sister and i were little enough to still be taking baths together. it was floating around us and i yelled, "mom! julie pooped in the tub!" and julie was like, "I did? oops, sorry." and mom got us out of the tub quick!
i didn't tell either of them till decades later...
oh man, i am SO glad i am not the only tub-pooper (is that any relation to a tub-thumper i wonder?)! that sounds like something i would TOTALLY do to my sister too. man, one thing that has not changed since i was a little kid? i love me some poop stories!!!
Everybody poops in the tub! Pooping in the tub is the coolest!
i know! it feels so free and right! not that i still, ehm, er, uhm, ;*), you know, do "that" anymore but...anyway, how is the world cup going these days?
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