Saturday, June 10, 2006

You Tube Milestone

Well, it finally happen, I finally hit 100,000 views on my current addiction, This day was slooooow in coming. My videos are not the normal You Tube fare and they generally receive more derision than views but bit by bit, ounce by ounce, someone must have watched those darn videos cause I hit the big 100K. Ah well, the celebration is already over as some faceless person just called me a "TWAT". Oh You Tube, how I both love and revile you and your dastardly charms!

Meanwhile, in other You Tube news, You Tube darling "Filthy Whore" just moved back in with her parents after her Canadian boyfriend kicked her to the curb (see video here). Filthy is annoyed with this arrangement as she is 21 yrs old and feels she is above both working to earn an honest living in order to pay her own way AND mooching off her folks.

Meanwhile, Filthy's boyfriend has just asked for a "break" and she is devastated (see video here). Comments pour in to comfort Filthy Whore. Yes, Filthy Whore, your new hair extensions look fabulous and I can't wait to see you on TV, whoring some product or other (see video here), or simply selling your undies on EBay (oops, already happening!) or where ever your Your You Tube fame may lead you!

Yes, yes, I know, "jealous much?" See, I can already anticipate the You Tuber comments to my thoughts. It is true, I am jealous. Sooo jealous. Filthy Whore is a moron, plain and simple. The sort of girl you used to hate in high school for her utter complete lack of personality and intelligence.

Still, Filthy Whore is one of You Tubes most popular video bloggers and her profile has over 300,000 hits as opposed to my measly 2,000 views. She has over 2,500 subscribers as opposed to my 31. She stares at the camera like a blank cow and talks in a dull monotone about her meaningless, insignificant life and I tell you, it is fascinating! No, I can only take so much of it. But her videos are wildly popular amongst both perverted men and boys and teenage girls (these groups seem to be the staple of you Tube).

Meanwhile, a new You Tube video blogger, Lisa Nova, (see video here) has entered the melee and she seems far more intelligent than Filthy Whore. With just one simple video she has encapsulated the You Tube experience and has already received massive recognition, hits, and comments.

Also, another hugely popular You Tuber is The Wine Kone (see video here). He is not only intelligent and funny, but he is self-deprecating and an admitted dork with the ladies. This makes him very popular with the You Tube ladies and his videos are SO hot in the Land of You Tube right now that they sizzle!

Oh, in searching around the You Tube universe I just found a video by actor/director/emo boy franchiser Zach Braff (see video here). Oddly enough, he too is trying to sell his wares on You Tube! He was smart not to allow comments, although it is a very popular, well viewed video (for some perspective: this one video is viewed more times than ALL of my videos combined! Wowie, what a star he is!).

Everyone is trying to sell and broadcast with You Tube. What an odd phenomenon. Anywho, I will no change topics as You Tube has a similar effect on me to that of too much TV or too many trashy celeb rags - in excess, they rot my brain.

Nothing is better on a Saturday than spending the entire day in your bathrobe, reading a scintillating sci fi thriller (especially when you are reading Scott Westerfeld's "Specials," the end of the fabulous series, "Uglies"), eating everything in your cupboards and listening to the pitter patter of rain falling. Then, when I am reading too fast and the end of the book draws too near too fast, I take a break for one of my favorite rainy day thrillers, "Death on the Nile." After all, you have to savor a fun book, much like a fine wine...

"Death on the Nile" carried me away to Egypt and her ancient pyramids, where a young, devastatingly handsome Mia Farrow bedazzled me with her death defying cheek bones and strawberry blonde short hair. The wrinkled mass of a still vivacious and cutting Bette Davis threw in a well annunciated zinger here or there and the butch, always tough as nails Maggie Smith banged Bette around a bit in what must be a hinted at, never fully realized lesbian relationship. Even the over the top Angela Lansbury acted her heart out in her fantastic role as the sex-crazed, highly colorful, lacking inhibitions, somewhat frightening, old lady novelist.

Why do I love these old Agatha Christie thrillers so much? "Death on the Nile" and "Evil Under the Sun" are always like a mini-break to me. I can almost taste the salt of the Mediterranean in the air, smell the Middle Eastern cooking, feel the silks and the fabrics on my skin, and underneath it all is the tension of hidden passions, unsaid grievances and melodramatic assaults - these films are like a Calgon bath, drifting me away to warmer climes and putrid plots of murder and the like.

Ah well, one needs some Calgon when the days are endlessly rainy and dark and there is no hope of exercise or sun bathing to make one's weekend worthwhile. Meanwhile, me thinks the next movie adventure will be of the horror variety...and perhaps tomorrow there will even be a hint of sun...?

Oh, and speaking of milestones, check out author Scott Westerfeld's far more impressive milestones as detailed on his blog. After 10 years of freelancing, he has accompished rather a lot (!!). I am green with envy, wish the Uglies trilogy would never end and wish I was a successful freelancer so I could spend more time relaxing and reading in my PJs...

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