Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Lance is Gay!? Rubber Sidewalks?

Lance Bass of N'Sync boy band "fame" is...g-g-g-g-g-gay!? (link)

I am in shock!

No really, it is pretty funny actually. Funnier still is that three of Yahoo's top news links are regarding Bass and his sexuality. Screw the Middle East, Bass is gay!

Even funnier still is that Lance once tried to get us to finance his proposed trip to space. Needless to say, that never worked out for him and he is still earthbound. Ah well, you can't blame a boy band member for trying.

Oh America, how I love thee - especially your strange fascination with the sex lives of boy band members and reality TV show winners.

In other news, I would like Burlington to install some rubber sidewalks (link). Not only would this be better for all of us physically BUT it would be hellah cool! In fact, my old street in Berkeley got a rubber sidewalk! (link)

Man, I lived on Spruce Street for 5 long years but was too early to experience the benefits of the rubber sidewalk! As usual, I blame my poor timing.

"Yo man, this is a message from N'Sync, dig? We tink ya all should go out an' buy sum rubber sidewalks, you hip to that? Cause it makes your lumbar feel so damn good, ya hear me?

Peace out, oh, and hey to all the gays out there! We, like, uhm, totally support our band member Lance but like, uh, we wanna make it clear that the rest of us are red blooded, heterosexual American men - especially when we slap each others butts and grope one another on stage during a show. Just cause we wear tight white tank tops and tight, groin-exposing jeans does not make us faggots - uhm, we mean, homosexuals. K, just clearing that up. Back to ordering your rubber sidewalks, peace out G-dog." - N'Sync


Please to enjoy this fabulous, not at all gay, N'Sync rendition:

7 comments:

Q_Monroe said...

you're funny!

Eva the Deadbeat said...

or just CRAZY!

The Le Duo said...

I dont care if he's gay...I just think he is really strange looking.

The first apartment I lived in had a huge Lance Bass poster on the wall. All because one time I happened to say 'man that guy is funny looking!' next thing I know, BAM!- poster

jB

Eva the Deadbeat said...

i think Lance Bass is a space alien. that should be the next big revealing headline: Bass From Mars!!!

i hope you kept that poster. it could surely spice up any wall surface with some Lancitute.

The Le Duo said...

the poster is long gone...we had dressed Lance up to look like my friend Fast Eddie- huge ear-rings and a blacked out tooth- I think we either left the poster at the apt. or drunkenly ripped it down with a healthy whatthefuck?

jb

UVM College stoner said...

Bass from Mars is actually the name of my new Pychadelic Dubby Funk band. I play the fretless "space bass". Check us out when we play Red Square, DJ Funkyasslogic is spinning danchall before and after.

And for the ladies, roofie coctails, on the house.

Eva the Deadbeat said...

dude! roofie cocktails are, like, totally my favorite! you should like burn an effigy of Lance Bass every time you gig. or you could deface a poster of him - turn him into a smurf or a pirate or a congressman, whatever you can dream up! do it bro!