Halloween Hijinx

Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

This blog has been too dismal of late and what with the endless days of rain, it was time for some Halloween party fun! Lani invited us to her friend Scott's party on Maple Street. We dressed as Raggedy Ann, Little Red Riding Hood and a bitchy Heather - guess who was who. OMG, did you, like, have a brain tumor for breakfast?

Heather Duke: "Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?"

It was nice to be out and about with the streets full of disguised, drunken people. At the party there was a HOT dance floor, a keg and a wild pack of dogs, one of which was Supergirl!

There were three levels and the patios were shielded from the cold by tarps. There was more Michael Jackson than you could shake a stick at, some early Madonna and even some Kelly Clarkson for the kids.

Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people "real life." She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful.

Also in attendance were a Man of War, traffic tape girls, Charlie's Angels, Borat (he took time out from his heavy promotional tour to be there!), Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast at Tiffanys, a drunken knight of yore, a sexy pirate, a nun with pink hair, a Grecian princess, a scary Bandito, Little Bo Peep, a washed up surfer, a prisoner, a striking crow, a bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup, a Dungeon Master with his shirt peeking out of his zipper and of course, SATAN!

Veronica Sawyer: I say we just grow up, be adults and die.

Next we went downtown to hook up with a pirate and a jockey. The line at Metronome was too long so we satisfied ourselves with some delicious gravy fries while we met a serial killer, a cross dresser, a naughty nurse and a girl from Jersey.

On the drive home, a drunken sailor leapt onto our car hood and screamed at us like a crazy man, we screamed back. Ah Hallows Eve, how I love your chaos.

Veronica Sawyer: If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.