Marcel in SF

Even though Marcel is far away in a new city where the weather has been ridiculously beautiful lately and there are oodles of new places to go and explore, poor Marcel has been hanging around the flat and drinking himself silly.

Sadly, I cannot say I am surprised. I had hoped that a change in locale and weather might shake up my friend the frog's ever-present blues but sadly, he seems as grumpy as ever. I got this update from his flatmate Sarah:

Hope you will not be snowed under. Be strong for Marcel! He needs you now. Things are not so well, as these photos will tell. As you will see, he has been up to his old naughty tricks - so self defeating!


I find him in the doorway most mornings, passed out with a bottle. All the other animals ADORED him, and gathered round when he first appeared, but Olivia the pig loves him most of all, and with every squeeze from her his heart grows smaller, and nastier.



She loves to pounce on him, and looks for him everywhere! He has tried to hide, and even disguise himself, but she always finds him! He is quite miserable, and she finds that wonderful. Poor Marcel!

Marcel in California

Marcel is SO over the cold. So he hopped a plane to California to have some wild Cali adventures.

He toured the offices of SF Chronicle, wandered about the Mission, Japan Town and downtown, ambled through Mountain View Cemetery, drove up Highway 1 on a rainy day, ate sushi with Crocker and a burrito at Chrissy Fields, shopped at Ikea and Thrift Town, drank at the Fairmont, the Tonga Room, the Albatross and the Mallard and crossed the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges on multiple occasions.

Marcel does not like people much but he did not mind these folks/animals/small children: Jackson, Sarah, Jeff, Travis, Rufus, Jen, Henry, Matt, Sue, Renee, Molly, Ivo, Lauren, Anabelle and Sophie. In fact, he likes San Francisco so much that he decided to stay on a bit, even after I left.

See it all in the video of Marcel's California travels:



Enjoy SF Marcel, you lucky bastard.

PS I didn't bring my video camera to CA so I could take a "real" vacation. Turns out that 700 frog photos later, I cannot stop my obsessive compulsive streak from discovering an outlet. Oh well, at least it is not heroin.

Coastal Aftershocks

I've been back in VT for almost 4 days now and I am still a bit discombobulated.

The day I left SF it was stormy and as I drove my PT Cruiser (yes, laugh if you must, old ladies deserve bright blue old ladee rental cars) back to the airport, a large chunk of me wanted to turn around and drive back, up the 101 North to my little rainy city by the bay.

I barely made it home through the snowstorm that was pummeling the East Coast all day Wednesday. The plane tossed us around like jumping beans and I closed my eyes so Heidi Klum was not the last image I saw before certain death.

When we landed in VT it was dark, snowy and freezing. I could barely get a ride home from the airport and everything was dead and impassable. My car was buried beneath 4 feet of snow and I could barely get my suitcase in the front door. Could I really have been outside wearing a t-shirt and sniffing bright purple flowers 8 hours earlier??

Since I couldn't stick around, I left a silent, morose piece of me back in SF, and hopefully he is having a grand old time in my absence. I am sure the town will be dry of liquor in no time.

I'll be thinking of you SF and Marcel and imagining all your calamities! Until we meet again or until I discover a way to be bi-coastal! Au revoir!

Ba Hum Bug

What is so great about Christmas,
Marcel would like to know?
Seems like a lot of trouble for no good reason.
Hrumph.

And WHO has the time to send out cards that arrive on time? Marcel is sure that HE does not!
His webbed fingers have better things to do, such as twiddling and rudely gesticulating.


The snow is nice but the slobbering beast is not.
It seems as though the creature gets pinker and wigglier every day!

Marcel will be spending the remainder of the holidays atop the Christmas tree where he can remain unmolested and Xmas-free.

BA HUM BUG, indeed!

Marcel and the CBP

Marcel has had it with America and her tangle of contradictions, so he caught a ride up to the border and attempted to defect to Canada where a frog of his sensitive artistic deadbeat disposition might be better appreciated/coddled.

CBP officials were not sure what to make of this finicky French frog so they booted him back to the States, but not before Marcel could make a brief stop at Duty Free to quench his mighty thirst.

To stifle his disappointment and quiet his rumbling belly, Marcel made another stop for fresh baked apple pie - 2 for $1! Mmm...freedom tastes mighty sweet don't it frog??

In other news, Marcel is thinking of signing up for the CBP cause they are fracking AWESOME DUDE! Check this out and you will understand why!

Marcel's Halloween Tale of Woe

Marcel did not plan for it to end this way.
Marcel had high hopes for his future life in his new home.

So how could it possibly end...here...now...this way?!


It all began as it normally did with too many cocktails, followed quickly by too much plebeian swill.

Where was that provincial Dutchman that usually drank with Marcel?

Once again, he was all alone to drown his sorrows.

It was around this time that he became separated from his faithful sweater.

Marcel was sick, sick of it all. The White Beast who was his friend one moment and his tormentor the next.

The world full of humans that did not appreciate his inner genius, burning bright and alone.

Who could he trust in this cold and lonely world?

The debauchery-filled evening that followed was a blur to Marcel. And when he awoke, it was next to a mysterious Tattoo-Covered Lady. His bed reeked of stale cigarettes and his shame knew no bounds.

"For gods sake, I am ONLY a frog," he cried out to no one in particular. The slumbering lady rolled over and knocked him from the bed.


As if laughing in his face, the universe threw another twist at Marcel.

A Tasmanian Devil moved into his quiet abode and decided to make it her life's work to disembowel our grumpy hero.

"Unhand moi vous mangy bête," screeched Marcel is desperation.

But the creature paid him no heed as she had not yet mastered the French language.


Luckily, meal time saved Marcel from a gruesome end and he promptly began to pack his bags.

There was a good chance that the Tattooed Lady from the other night might take him away from this madhouse to travel the Bohemian backwaters of Transylvania.

Marcel decided to have one more farewell drink, for old times sake.

Before he knew it, he was opening his eyes in a harlot's bed and cheesy pop music was playing in the background.

Who was this large-haired, brassy woman and what was he wearing?! Marcel's body ached in a way he had never known it to.

The Tattooed Lady, furious at his betrayal, had already absconded with her suitcase to Transylvania to perform in a traveling vaudeville act.

Her simple heartfelt note read,
"Marcel, Você é um empurrão batota!

Eu te amou e você merda sobre mim! Queimar no inferno sapo!"

Marcel was stuck here, alone and poorly dressed.


So you see, it was no short journey to the place where our story began.

Alone and slightly hung over, Marcel had no choice but to secure the noose around his fragile neck. What kind of a world was it if he could not even find his sweater?!

And this brings us up to date. There hangs Marcel the Mime, the last bits of his life slowly dripping away...


What's this? Is it the Tasmanian Devil to the rescue?! Who knew that Lucinda could administer Frog CPR?


So this brings us to our new happy ending, Marcel is alive and well and ready to hand out candy to the tricker treaters.


He has decided that living with a White Beast and a Tasmanian Devil is really not so bad. At least they provide body heat on the cold winter nights.

And he is in the process of an avid letter-writing campaign to win the fair Tattooed Lady's forgiveness - and if he is lucky, perhaps her heart.

Happy Halloween tout le monde!

Marcel Moves In

Fall is here. Marcel is keeping mum.Marcel thinks there is such a thing as too many clothes.
Marcel has made a new friend. Their conversations don't last long.
Marcel and Eeyore have lots in common.
Marcel finds Eeyore to be a bit of a Drama Queen.
Eeyore thinks Marcel should lighten up.

Marcel is not a huge fan of autumn.
He does not like cluttered yards.
Marcel feels a sudden burst of self-confidence.
"Unhand me striped-sorbet giantess!"
Marcel dreams he is in a tulle-filled ocean.
Marcel has been staying up late watching previews.
His head feels mushy.
"Well hello ladies, zig ah zig hah, indeed."
Sun tanning has always felt more like sun roasting to Marcel.
He has fair frog skin.
Marcel would rather be skiing.

"NO MARCEL! DON'T JUMP!
We don't want you to go!"