Deadly Dentists

This morning I was lying upside down and prone for 6 hours with my mouth gaping open as I was prodded, poked, pulled, yanked, cut and messed with, often almost choking on my own blood and spit.

"Pardon me, is that your elbow in my eyeball?"

"I am drowning in blood...gurgle, gurgle."

"That is not a good sound, is that a chainsaw you are putting in my mouth?"

"Hmm, how many hands can fit in one person's mouth??"

"WHSY YESSS, STRHSDJNGE WEATHMIGER, I DNKNOHW."
[Translation: Yes, what strange weather." ]
[What I am really thinking: "I cannot respond to your unimportant question. Your hands are stuffed in my mouth along with many sharp instruments."]

After 6 solid hours of this torture, I felt much like the gent in this Bacon painting. Mouth numb from repeated injections of general anesthesia, hands numb from clenching, ears numb from huge headphones blaring loud music, brain frazzled beyond repair.

Calgon, TAKE ME AWAY!

I know dentists are not inherently evil. I know they are trying to help me and give me a nice smile. Maybe I just need to find the inner peace to deal with this torture?

NOT. Instead, I am betting on Armageddon so I can fit in fine with the other toothless circus freaks. Hell yeah!

Crap Monday

Argh. it is just going to be one of those days/weeks...crap...

I could blame it on the quitting smoking which is making me want to rip my hair out and spread feces on the walls. Seriously, it is not pleasant.

I quit two times in my life already (see blog post) and this recent smoke-inhaling resurgence can be blamed on Spielpalast inspired stress/nerves (of which there was plenty). But the cabaret has been over for months now and my latest excuse, home buying stress, is also wearing thin. Time to grow up a bit and face the nerves head on without the aid of tobacco. Damn it.

Or I could blame it on a fun-filled weekend which involved many stressful moments and guffaws. Or perhaps it could be blamed on that hellish moment when I realized that I taped over some of my BEST footage from the weekend - also known as the moment that the world came crashing down overhead, also known as "NOOOOO!"

Or maybe it is the inevitable Monday morning flurry of emails requesting this and that and that other thing. Or it could be the hour long conversation with B&H video about DVD duplication that left my head swimming.

Maybe I am not cut out for this digital media crap? Maybe I need to go live in a yurt and spend my days knitting and digging in the dirt?

Or perhaps I should shut up and stop spreading blame/angst all over the place. Damn it, I would really enjoy a cigarette about now...time to edit...